Streaking

I was in a bar on the coast not too long ago. And before we get started I just want to suggest to everyone that being good looking and/or blond isn't going to cut it if you're a bar tender. Unless you've got barbacks or something to back you up. Not knowing how to tap a keg or how the tap system works is inexcusable. Although, on the plus side, I do know how to tap a keg and turn OFF the untapped kegs to not waste pressure, so I had an open tab for the evening. This fact led me to the subject in the title. Getting really hammered and singing and rough housing with my buddies. We have a song that basically, you pick out a girl and we all sing t other and try to get her to flash us. She didn't, not even after multiple versus and an endearing chorus. I even picked her up on my shoulders and danced around a bit. I couldn't tell if she was into it, because she was over my head, but as drunk as I was I'm just glad I didn't fall over.

So, she didn't flash us, and I thought I'd come up with a full proof way to convince her. Follow my drunken math here. Me + copious amounts of booze + a shy girl = me showing her that same is over rated. But not just flashing the bar like we wanted her to do. I decided that I'd run down to the water naked and go for a swim. Luckily some others followed my drunken logic and joined me in the fun run. Here's where the plan goes to shit. Looking out at the water it really doesn't look that far, especially at night, while drunk. We started booking it for the water only to realize after crossing the street and making it half way across the beach we're all exhausted. We have to make it to the water then BACK? oh fuck this! Hitting the Water was also an incredibly sobering experience. It was probably in the mid 70s but the water was COLD. So now we're tired, cold, shrunk, and we have to run all the way back. We walked most of the beach and picked it back up for a run when we got near the road.

Those fuckers at the bar, who didn't run with us, had amassed outside on the curb. As we got closer I saw something didn't look right, but was too tired to care. Right when we got on the sidewalk they unloaded pitchers of ice water onto us. That normally would have sucked to high heaven, but I was so hot and tired from the run and I was already in full shrinkage mode from the coastal waters, I didn't even flinch. I just headed in side collected my clothes and got dressed. I felt almost completely sober at this point, and that is not the time you want to be sober. Everyone just got to see my shrunken dick and my white ass, and now I'm clear headed. The shy girl came up to me, and still wouldn't show off the goods but she did buy me a shot, so I got her one on my tab.


I'll have to go back there sometime.