The Epic Saga(not to be confused with Sega) of how a strip club actually saved someone 80 dollars.

So my friend, Epic Beard Man (EBM) really wants to see some titties, all the time. He's been jonesin' for it very badly. So bad that he's considering driving to Round rock to see his friend Hulk and go to his favorite gentleman's club, The Amarillo Rose. He eventually can's that idea because he'd have to drive the 160 Miles from Katy to Round Rock. HE settles for a local strip club and has an absolutely Euphoric time. Spends his money very conservatively and has possibly, a few too many drinks. On his way out the door he notices his Wallet has gone missing. "IV"E BEEN ROBBED!" he proclaims as he charges toward the last stripper to grind on his lap. She's wearing nothing but pasties and a g string but he swears she has pick pocketed him and is hiding his wallet. (Possible in her meat wallet?)  The managers help him look around on the ground for his walled because maybe, just maybe, he didn't' get robbed but missed his pocket in a fleeting moment of drunken clumsiness. They found three wallets. None were EBM's however. They did find one that said, "Bad Mother Fucker" on it. But it was quickly claimed by a tall loud man with a perm.

Sadly EBM went home and began to check his bank statements to see if the Stripper he believed robbed him had been purchasing things already. He found nothing except for an odd charge from an On line gaming company. "WoW!" EBM proclaimed. 80 dollars I quit that game months ago.
He jumped online and sent a message to his friend Hulk. "Hey man whats the number for Blizzard customer support?" Hulk, used to work for Blizzard and EBM expected him to just know things like this. Hulk didn't know the number but he did figure EBM didn't really need customer support, because he hadn't played the game in months. after a brief question and answer, which was like pulling teeth for Hulk, EBM revealed that he wished to dispute a charge on his card. Hulk looked up the number online, knowing EBM was way too lazy to look things up online himself.

EBM called the company and was not happy about being on hold for 20 mins but to him felt like at least an hour. The Hold music was medieval and ancient sounding with plenty of war drums. It made him feel like battle charging everyone in the office. He was finally able to speak with a representative in the billing dept and they canceled his account and refunded the money.

EBM was now feeling slightly better about losing his wallet. He had just gotten 80 bucks back. Just then, the strip club called and had found his wallet. Win Win!
He let Hulk know of the fortunate turn of events. Here is a brief snipit from that conversation:

EBM: the universe just wanted me to check my discover account to catch that charge

 Hulk: yeah. haha

  If you were a little more eloquent I'd say post that story somewhere in the blogosphere

EBM: dude elegancy is my forte

 Hulk: you can be elegant without being well spoken

  you understand that elegant and eloquent are different things right?

  not to be confused with elephant

EBM probably knows that elegant and elephant are different things. But all is well that ends well. EBM satisfied his desire for titties for one night and was able to cancel and refund 80 dollars from An online game he had not played in months. Proving that a strip club can infact save you money.